Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
