Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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