That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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