Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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