It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
