bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
