I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
