after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The adults are the big ones right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
