why didn't you poke me back
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
