woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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