are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
