man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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