We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
two words...techno handjob
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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