what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
