This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
