i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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