spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize