the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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