We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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