Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Randomize
