I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
