i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
