she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
