With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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