I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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