4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
