Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He has the fingertips of a God
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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