All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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