I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
