Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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