i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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