Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
