Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
