omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
