My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize