I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It's just like the Real World with babies
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
