that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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