This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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