Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
