Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
