dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
