The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
