So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
