I cockslap morals
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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