i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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