I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
