he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
