In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
