whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
