At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
