I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just found a bag of teeth...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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