im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
