Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
