ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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