i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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