put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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