Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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