i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
