Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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