I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
